Oftentimes we talk about finding balance in life. I'm going to say something that sounds contradictory but I hope that you'll get it: Seeking balance is important because it helps us to make necessary adjustments in life, but there is no such thing as truly being balanced. It's not something I think is actually attainable.
When we're excelling in a few areas of our lives there is certain to be another area or two, or more, that aren't getting the attention that is needed. It's taken me up until recently to be okay with this. There is no way that anyone can do it all. Here are three things I want you to think about so that you too can stop being unrealistic about it.
Stop Being Too Proud
Part of the problem is being somewhat proud of "doing it all". Take me, for instance, I'm a believer/seeker/follower, wife/helpmate/lover, mother/teacher/playmate, family member, friend, employee, blogger, cook, house cleaner, laundry doer, nurse, scheduler -- you get where I'm going with this. We, and I'm really speaking to women (especially mothers), wear a lot of hats. A lot of them. And, we're often praised for it to a certain extent. We take pride in being able to "balance" our lives and do it all. But, again, we just cannot do it all and trying to do so comes at a cost. Being proud in this way isn't healthy because we start to feel like we're supposed to be doing it all, usually somewhat alone, and do it without complaint. What we end up doing is setting ourselves up for burnout, frustration and/or losing sight of focusing on those things that are most important to us.
It's also a set up to think that other people have it all together and are getting it all done. They are not, and if they're coming close to it it is due to help. I assure you.
I often say to my husband that "I do everything." Sometimes I say this jokingly but more times than not I really feel this way. I get upset about it too because I feel like he's not doing enough. I'd gotten into the habit of doing quite a bit around the house when I was a SAHM and that made sense at the time. It became routine. Then I went back to work and obviously things had to change. They did, but not enough. It wasn't until I got halfway into my second pregnancy that I realized I needed more help. I lot of help.
I expected my husband to just know this. But, the thing about establishing a routine is it can be hard to realize a change is needed because you've gotten so use to the way things have been. I needed to communicate, to speak up, and it took a breaking point for me to finally express how I was feeling. I pray that you speak up before you reach that point.
And, when people offer help; friends, family, coworkers, etc, accept it!
Recognize the Season
We must always be mindful of the season of life that we are in and adjust our priorities accordingly. If you have young children at home, work may not be your biggest concern at the moment. If your husband is just starting a business and need your support, keeping a spotless home may not be the best use of your time. If your career is picking up steam, cooking meals regularly may not be achievable for a while. If you're taking care of a sick or elderly family member, being able to connect with friends may not be as easy as it use to be. You've got to recognize the season of life that you're in and give yourself grace when forced to put certain things on the back burner while you focus on others.
I promise you that keeping all of the above in mind will make a huge difference! What are you thoughts? Do you feel like you have to do it all? I'd love to hear your viewpoint on the subject in the comments.
Be intentional,Photo by Lucas Saugen