To Love. To Grow. To Change. To Live.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Trusting My Husband's Approach

Marriage


There are so many lesson that I'm realizing I'm meant to learn on this traveling-working mom journey. There are things that I've known about myself for quite some time. Not too good things, I might add. Wait, I take that back; they make up who I am and are good when used in the right way. But when put to use within the constructs of the home they're not always the best approach. This isn't to say that I haven't been working at making changes before now. This work-life balance transition has just brought the need for more change to the forefront. For instance:
  • I like to be in control.
  • I like to schedule/plan everything.
  • I'm very particular about when / how things are done.
  • I'm dominant and independent.
  • I analyze everything.
  • There's more but you get the picture.
Can you see how these things have the potential to have a negative affect on the marriage due to the expectations on how the partner in the relationship should go about:
  • Raising the child(ren),
  • Maintaining the home,
  • Managing life and it's mishaps, in general?!
Correcting Wrong Thinking
Dealing with me hasn't always been pretty, folks, and I thank God for a patient husband. Patient, I said! Don't get me wrong, I've come a long way and have gotten better at relinquishing some (<-- keyword) of my hold on when and how things get done by my husband, and why he chooses to do those things the way he did. I've had to realize that he's not me and I can't expect him to approach things the exact same way that I would. It sounds so simple, but I tell you, it's hard for a hardcore Type-A person like myself to fully grasp it at times.

Traveling regularly has forced me to see this more clearly as I have no choice but to let go and trust him all the more. I've had to realize that as long as things actually do get done, and that my child is still thriving (not just alive - because that too would be wrong thinking on my part and my faith in his abilities) then I don't have anything to worry about.

Marriage
No doubt the fact that I'm not home regularly, in the mist of all he has going on, is incredibly hard on him at times and I know there are days that he lets things slip. But on the days that he may fall short I have to remember to extend him some grace. I have plenty of those days too and all in all we're managing to make things work.

To add, I wholeheartedly believe that the Lord is also preparing my heart and mind for when my husband and I switch roles. That particular lesson to be learned hit me hard this week as I had to tell my husband that I wouldn't be home all week next week, like originally planned, but would be flying out three weeks in a row versus every other week. We knew in time we'd have back to back to back weeks of travel (probably more often than I'm willing to admit). But, what this whole thing is giving me is perspective.

As my husband's career picks up even more steam I foresee and fully expect travel in his future. Had I not been given this outlook I'm almost certain I would have had a much harder time taking in his schedule and stretches of time away from our family as a head coach of a basketball team. So, for this point of view, and this vision of his life that he's so passionately pursuing that I was allowed to glimpse, I am thankful!

ALSO READ: Delineating Responsibilities

I can't tell you all the many different things I'm learning in the short time I've been traveling in one post. It's been like two months and I've been tripping on it, y'all -- but that comes with something so new, hard and different, right?!  Change is usually hardest in the beginning.  I assure you I'm getting the hang of it though. We're getting the hang of it!

I intend to continue to share all the things I find us learning and growing into for the betterment of our family as a whole as we lean on God's direction for our lives during this journey. I've said it here before and I'll say it again; I wholeheartedly believe that God has always placed me right where I need to be in each season of my life!

 "Recognizing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, at that point in your life is powerful!"  
  -From my post Following YOUR Heart           



Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. -Proverbs 3: 5-6

What has life's current situations been teaching you lately?!

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3 comments

  1. Very good post. As I move through life with my partner, I notice some of the same things. We're not married just yet, but I see the adjustments happening as we move along. I'm grateful that we love each other enough to see what needs to be done, address them head on, and make changes or compromises that need to be made. It's not always easy, but it's definitely worth it!

    Loving this series!!

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  2. My husband & I just recently had one of our biggest disagreements ever with phrases like "broken trust" floating around (it involved money). When it came right down to it, the root of the problem was a lack of communication...& each of us deciding that we were right. We're getting past it but it's a hard realization when you come to understand that there has to be give & take...particularly when you aren't used to that.

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  3. Great post! God has his was of training us for each life assignment...things that seemed like we planned are just God's pit stops along our journey to reach our true greatness!

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