To Love. To Grow. To Change. To Live.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Misery and the Company it Loves

I was very upset the other day. And I mean very upset!

I wanted to tell people.
I wanted to get it out.
“Off my chest.”
I wanted to feel better.

For some reason, I thought telling others would be helpful. But I didn’t say a word. Then I wondered why I felt that way; why I wanted to tell someone. I posed the following question on my Facebook fan page: “Why is it that when we are hurt we want to tell the world about our pain? Is it that we believe that sharing somehow makes us feel better? “

The response I received: "Maybe the old adage, 'misery loves company,' is true."

But is it really true?
Is that what I was feeling?
Is that what you feel when you seek others when you’re hurt, sad, overwhelmed, going through something?

After some thought, I understood the response and I agree that ever so often that is the case. But to me, “misery loves company” has a negative connotation; that someone wants others around them to be upset, hurt, in pain, etc. too. I just don’t believe that is the objective of most who want to express their feelings.

I believe that oftentimes people just desire support and reassurance that no matter how things look in the moment things will work out for their good. I think when you're hurt, sad, frustrated, etc., you just want people to be there for you. You want someone to listen, to have empathy, to understand. Of course, we have to be careful about what we share, how we share it and with whom we share. But, I don’t believe bottling up our emotions and feelings when we’re going through the storms of life is the right approach. At least not for me it isn’t.

I use this blog (and my twitter account since tweets have such a short “life”) as my main outlets. But there are just some things I can’t/won’t share online so I need other ways to express myself. Although I have people that are very supportive I tend to keep things to myself to keep from burdening others. Even beyond that, sometimes I’m embarrassed by things (that may be going on in my marriage), or ashamed that I felt a certain way (about parenting), or uncomfortable (by my lack of forgiveness or hurts that I’m holding on to from my past), or self-conscious (about a bad decision that was made). You name it and I have an excuse for why I rarely share anything with anyone besides my husband. But, he can’t always be my outlet, right?!

I wonder if other people have similar thoughts/feelings.

I do know the devil wants us to feel hopeless and alone, and I believe one of his strategies includes isolation. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Lions tend to identify and isolate the weakest in the herd before attacking.  So yeah, that.  With that said, don’t become isolated; not as Christians, as woman, men, family members, friends, etc. Stay connected to those around you and pray for discernment as to who best in your circle can provide the accountability, admonition, encouragement, etc. needed when trials and tribulations come.

If you find that you have similar ideas as I have, I pray that you too find the appropriate outlet that you need, when you need it.  You can even shoot me an email if you'd like.  Who knows, we may be able to support each other.

Find Joy,


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