To Love. To Grow. To Change. To Live.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

"Poppin' Pills" | Day 7


Yesterday when I was driving in to work I still felt very tired. Slightly tense. I wanted to go to work but didn’t feel like going to work. I actually ended up having a very good day. But let’s hone in on the thoughts I had during my commute. I think about a million things when I drive.

I wanted to take some Advil. I didn’t have a headache. I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t feeling bad, per se. I just felt tired and I thought, some Advil would probably give me a boost right now. I didn’t take any, of course, it was just a thought. Then I wondered if this was how addictions evolve, specifically in woman.

Just a woman, feeling tired, overwhelmed and in need of something to help relax her. Ease the tension. Get her through her day. Sleep, even. It’s amazing to think about the amount of weight we have to carry as women, especially as wives and mothers. Don’t get me wrong, men have their own set of weights to drag around as well, but enough about them already.  

Life. Is. Hard.


None of this is to complain.  I actually really like the life I'm living right now and the people in it; my husband, my daughter, my family, my friends, my job, my provision. I love my life.  But, what I'm finding is that in spite of how well life is treating you there is seemingly always something that sort of pulls on you, weighs you down and tires you out as you try to find that nonexistent thing called balance.  As you try to do it all.  We always say that no one is perfect, but life isn't perfect either.

ALSO READ:  Saving Yourself - Why You Should Stop Trying to Do it All

Marriage is going great, job is treating you good, but the baby is colicky this month.  The baby is good, the job is good, but your marriage is rocky this quarter.  The baby is great, the marriage is sensational, but the job has been depressing all year.   Life is good; but it's never perfect. Ever. There are so many different factors and things to be mindful of and seemingly, there is always and will always be something not quite going the way we'd hope. Right?! Or perhaps it's just me. 

That's where joy is suppose to come in, I imagine.  Apparently, my new years resolutions were wrong this year. My main goal was to "be happy", but it should have been, "find joy".  Even when you're facing a difficulty in your life, be it one thing or many things, joy can still be found; "for the joy of the Lord is my strength" (Nehemiah 8:10b).  So, I guess what I really need to emphasize is that we constantly need to seek the Lord if there is any hope of remaining sane.

...and sober.

These are just thoughts.

Hone in,

31 Days of Writing Series: 
Day 1 - 31 Days of #HoningIn
Day 2 - My Morning
Day 3 - Appendicitis
Day 4 - Choosing Him
Day 5 - Me
Day 6 - Work

So many people suffer silently and an addiction to drugs or alcohol can easily develop.
If you're struggling with an addiction I pray that you find the courage to seek help - Addiction Helpline.


Photo by Michela Ravasio


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3 comments

  1. Very insightful and well thought out Nicole

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  2. Great thoughts! I am constantly saying I need to find a balance. The thing is though no matter how hard you try to balance it all, something seems to just be a bit off. Your right, I think it's more about joy than happiness or maybe we see happiness as something it really isn't

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  3. It's a lot of work just being a woman in general. I like the "find joy" attitude...something we all need to take on more. And I so agree...life is good (it's hard!) but it's good. Loved this post, my friend!

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