To Love. To Grow. To Change. To Live.

Monday, May 26, 2014


I'm angry!  I want that to be clear!

My husband and I stayed up past 1am talking for HOURS about oppression (specifically, Eurocentric beauty standards and colourism)!

I cried during that conversation, as I always do whenever we discuss oppression of this type, and I cry now as I write this post thinking about how oppressive we (African Americans) can be among ourselves, not even realizing why we think the way we think and how ignorant we can be in relation to these topics. 

Our main topic of discussion was Madison's hair and how we're constantly asked about it...

Madison's hair has always been, and continues to be, a topic of discussion among family and friends (yes, family and friends), and quite frankly I'm sick of it.  So I'm venting here, because I know that it's an issue that many face and because I plan to point to this rant the next time somebody asks me about her hair so that I don't have to entertain the foolishness topic any more!

Since she was born we've been questioned about her hair, it's shortness, it's texture and whether or not it's "done" (i.e., braided, well maintained, etc.).  I don't even like putting ponytails in her hair at this age but I often feel that I'm "required" to do something to keep the judgement at a minimum!

Myth:  Braids make your hair grow...

It's a fallacy and it annoys me.  Hair grows (on average) 6 inches a year or ½ inch/month.  Braids are not going to change that fact.  They're a protective, low maintenance style that keeps you from having to manipulate the hair often.  However, oftentimes braids are too tight, left in too long or the hair is not washed/moisturized as required when they are in so they tend to cause more harm than good, in most cases. 

Just letting the hair be, washing and moisturizing it (and the scalp) properly is all that is required for it to be healthy.  Please note that I said healthy...not grow.  Healthy hair will equate to growing hair but for goodness sake there is absolutely nothing wrong with short hair, there is nothing wrong with kinky hair, there is nothing wrong with relaxed hair, there is nothing wrong with natural hair.  It's just hair!  

“Occasionally moms try to do certain styles, such as braids and pigtails, that can actually damage the hair. Hair in young children is more sensitive, and sometimes little ones can get hair loss from hairstyles that pull too tightly or are in place for a long period of time,” says Dr. Muething.

Many disorders can result from manipulation of the hair (such as traction alopecia, in which tight braids or other hair styling can lead to hair loss at the sites of the greatest tension) or treatment with chemicals,” adds Dr. Paller. “Children should have simple styles and avoid excessive manipulation or treatments.” -source


I'm not saying that effort shouldn't be put in to properly groom a child before leaving the house, so people can take that argument elsewhere; what I'm saying is that children's hair doesn't have to be "in place" for it to be flourishing.  Besides, they are kids.  Madison's hair is usually out of place within an hour of styling because she's a toddler, she bothers it, she plays....she's a child!

I spend time, probably more than I should, affirming how pretty she is from head to toe, inside and out.  I make it a point to point out how pretty I think I am in front of her, how much I like my hair and her hair, how much I love my skin and her skin. I also pray about these things as well because, unfortunately, the world is such a cruel, cruel place and ignorance is real!

“The way we perceive and indoctrinate our beliefs about beauty is a legacy that gets passed down from family to family,” -Anita Majumdar


I cringe every time I hear, read about or see jokes about Beyonce's daughter's hair, and how others judge Beyonce for not "doing something to her hair" because I can relate so, so well.  The silliness is infuriating to say the least.  Obviously, Beyonce has the resources to maintain her daughter's hair to the highest degree, based on society's standard of "maintaining hair", but I'm almost certain that with the stylists she has in her camp she probably knows what I know about the manipulation of a toddler's hair.  So, she chooses to let it be and ignores the stupidity nasty comments about her child. A child! *rolls eyes*

I digress!

Ultimately, I implore you to take the time to read up on beauty politicspolitics of respectability and any of the other links I have scattered throughout this post!  They include an overwhelming amount of information but I hope that you take the time to do your own research and pull from multiple sources to draw your own conclusions.  

They say ignorance is bliss.  
I say ignorance is annoying! 


Monday, May 19, 2014

Homemade Deep-Dish Pizza

I'm a huge fan of Italian food. It gives me such comfort.   I consider pasta one of my dearest friends and I could spend a lit...

Sunday, May 18, 2014

The Zoo

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Thursday, May 15, 2014

Baby Fever

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Tuesday, May 13, 2014

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Monday, May 12, 2014

Prayer Tied to Scripture

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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day!

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Friday, May 09, 2014


Mother’s Day is this Sunday, as I’m sure you’re aware. I’ve been dreading the past two weeks leading up to it, if I can be frank. { ...

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Yard Work

I recently talked about how my husband has been tending to our yard as if it's our second child.  I recently got out there myself to ...

Monday, May 05, 2014

Alternatives to Ear Tubes (i.e., Myringotomy Surgery)

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