Love is Hard

Love is such a beautiful, necessary exhilarating thing.  But it’s hard.  Real hard. Yet, there is no doubt that it’s incredibly worth all of the effort, and oftentimes I have to keep in mind that God is love, which reminds me of how insanely complex it must be if it is also a representation of Him.  Besides, John Legend said it best, “we were made to love!”
I find myself on an emotional roller coaster quite often due to the complexity of life in relation to love, and there are a few things I am certain of:
  1. My grandmother was right.  You don’t really know yourself until you’re in your thirties so don’t rush things until then. (paraphrased).
  2. Face the tough issues head-on, especially those from the past, so that they do not linger and affect your future.
  3. A father has a powerful impact (be it good or bad) on the way a woman loves and wants to be loved, and the lack of one creates scars that can last a lifetime.
  4.  If you don’t know how to love yourself (even with your perfect imperfections), wholeheartedly and unconditionally, then you’ll have a hard time knowing what real love is and accepting that love as honest and true.  

Love is full of sacrifice and compromise and there are times when I feel like love just isn’t enough and I just want to give up.  My husband and I met during a time when I was depressed and broken and he knows me all too well.  He knows that I lean towards flight before I’ll fight, every time.  So in the mist of those times he constantly reminds me that he’ll Never Stop…



This Valentines day started several days ago for me with 12 days of Valentines Day so I’ve received 12 gifts, 11 gifts, 10 gifts, and so on everyday since Super Bowl Sunday leading up to this day and I have yet to see what is in store on today!
With that said, in spite of me and my struggles with love, Mario is an incredible man whom I do not credit enough, and I thank him sincerely just for loving and putting up with me :)!  We’ve gone through so, so much together over the course of our eight year courtship and no matter where life may take us there is no doubt in my mind that he is and always will be one of my very best friends, whom I will love for the rest of my days.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Love Hard!

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6 Comments

  1. February 14, 2014 / 4:14 pm

    This is such an open, honest post. Thanks for sharing! Love is a very complex thing. I've been working for awhile on a post about comparing our lives with others based on social media. Sometimes it's hard to remember that love takes work and it's not as easy as our pictures make it look. I too have the tendency to lean towards "flight" when times are rough. I appreciate your perspective (as usual!)

    Amber
    Fashion, Floss and Lip Gloss

  2. Anonymous
    February 15, 2014 / 3:42 am

    I'm right there with you on the whole "flight" thing. My defense mechanism of choice is withdrawal. So, even if I don't depart physically I can do so emotionally. I have had a lifetime to perfect this skill, but am choosing the remainder of my days to practice staying connected even when it's hard. Thanks for sharing another honest moment. I think we really are blogging sisters. After reading your "about" page I was too through. Lol.

  3. February 15, 2014 / 7:21 am

    First off, I want to commend you because I know that it is not an easy thing to blog in such and intimately honest way. Yet you have revealed an element of yourself that is vulnerably but beautiful. I relate as I believe that many of your readers do, to what you have said. It is very hard to love. I could not imagine the amout of love that God has for us. I pray that you would be strengthened. I pray that God's love would overshadow you and that no matter how someone else hurt you, God would restore you to a place of abundant joy; a place where you are overflowing with love instead of fear. In Jesus' name. Amen

    I really enjoyed reading your post. It made me think about love; the way that I love and the way that I want to be loved. Keep on blogging. You never know. You may help someone else.

  4. February 15, 2014 / 2:44 pm

    I really love your post Nicole! Love isn't always puppies and rainbows, and I think the work that we have to put into relationships is what makes it grow. I remember there was this celebrity that said something along the lines, "If your relationship isn't easy, then there's something wrong." And I remember my mom telling me not to listen, because what the celebrity said was utterly and completely untrue.

    I also love that first quote at the top! Thank you so much for linking up! That is so adorable that you have been receiving 12 gifts!

  5. February 23, 2014 / 2:12 am

    This was beautifully written! God will lead you into all truth…keep fighting the good fight of faith. Faith in God allows us to believe in ourselves & others in that Loving way that you are speaking of. In times that you/we may feel unloved it means we are lacking in spending to with the source of love and we just need to go to him to fill our love tanks up in order to give & receive love properly!

  6. February 26, 2014 / 5:43 am

    This was such a great post. I find myself struggling with opening up to love. And it's weird because my dad is the best man I've ever known. He's scarified so much for our family. I suppose my problems are internal. In many ways I have always lacked the confidence. I was/am still an odd ball. I'm just thankful I found a guy who loves me through it all. I'm sure as time moves on, you'll start to see that it's easier for you to love and be loved. Good guys have a way of bringing out the best in us, and your guys sounds like he's one of the good ones!

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