To Love. To Grow. To Change. To Live.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Changing Seasons of Friendship

After a lot of stressing, worrying and talking it out with Mario I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that my friends and I are growing up and drifting apart.  

Drifting Away by Amanda {via}

I've come to believe that it's a natural part of life, not to be thought of as something bad or something that I should be hurt or upset about.  My thoughts and feelings on the situation have been hard to manage up until recently, but some prayer and release has finally brought me to a good place...

A place of acceptance.

Lately, I've been talking about how I've changed since becoming a parent and since I've gotten married. But if I'm honest the change really began when I lost my mother.  That lose caused me to cling to Mario and push everyone else away.  Although people understood, my relationship with pretty much everyone, not just my friends, hasn’t really been the same since.  

However, the bigger reason boils down to the fact that we're all truly adults at this point.  What I mean by this is we're no longer in school/college trying to decide what we’re going to do with our lives.  We're getting married, having children, buying houses, etc.!  We're really starting our lives which are now full of responsibilities and thoughts on life due to our different experiences!   These things put people in a different place and a different headspace.  Ultimately, they change a person.

Our lives are taking us to different cities, with new opportunities and new friendships and new things to consider.  Are we still friends? Certainly! Will we always be friends? Deep down, yes! But is our friendship the same?  How could it be! 

We may not talk as much, visit as much or even agree on certain things. But, no matter how far apart we drift, one thing is for certain …

In my heart they’ll always be my very best friends.  The one’s I’ll always be rooting for, wishing well and there if ever needed, be it silently and/or at a distant.  I feel blessed to have had them in my life, even if just for a season, and they are the friends I’ll remember and love dearly for the entirety of my life!

"Our roads may split and drift apart but we'll always remain friends at heart." -Anonymous




  1. it is like you are reading my mind. Only, I am the only one of my little group of friends that is married and have kids...We have nothing in common. So, sometimes I lean towards my husband but he doesn't satisfy that "girlfriend" need that I want...I ask him sometimes, "Can you just be my homie and not my husband for a second?" lol

  2. I've gone through this, too. In fact, 3 of the women in my wedding and I have drifted so far that I probably wouldn't even invite them to my birthday party. We are just in different points in life and don't have much in common any more. It's unfortunate and I miss them at times, but I love where I'm at right now.

  3. We are all feeling this or have felt this. When we move to another city some of those friends left behind do not return the phone calls for one reason or another and we lose the connection. Memories are made and we have to keep them alive.

  4. It really is interesting to watch the seasons of friendship come and go. Distance is a big thing for me right now, with friends that I really want to be around, but it's so true...becoming an adult with responsibilities changes so much.

  5. It's the natural progression of life I suppose. Life gets busy, we have other commitments and people change. I think it's a little sad but also understand that it's just life.

  6. Beautiful post Nicole ... and I just happened to glance at Cece's comment above. It is a natural progression of life. But, we move on and find new friendships and build relationships with others. Sure, they may not be as strong as some of the friendships we have had in the past .. but they are still friends and we may need to rely on them at times.

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

  7. That's very interesting. I find that even when you move away from your friends later in life, the same lessons apply.

  8. It is so sad that you have to drift apart from the, but like you so eloquently mention in this post, it happens because life happens. Some of them I've stayed close to and others, I can't...we're two totally different people and it just is what it is...


  9. This is something I've been really struggling with lately. It's hard to let go of a friendship, but you really do change and drift apart.


  10. I have gone through this with my friends and it is hard, but it happens as we get older. I have been lucky in that I live in the same town as several of my close college friends and we've been able to stay friends as we've grown and changed, while others have moved away. Even though we're not close anymore, I know that if I truly needed them, they would do what they could to help.

  11. I am so happy that you wrote this post. Everyone's responses kind of helps normalize that feelings you've been having. Even though it normalizes the situation, it still doesn't take away from the feelings you have about having to go through it. It's unfortunate to drift away from friends that you used to be so close with. And as much as you don't want to, you can't help it...because the dealings and going-on's of life can keep you really occupied (and that's without a husband and kid...of which you have both). Most people understand that these things just kind of happen. Most people have friends that they don't necessarily talk to or hang out with every single day...and that's OK!! If it's not then, you must be okay with letting it go. You can't let the weight of this situation keep you down when you have so much to be happy and excited about! All you can do is live a life that's best and most comfortable for you and your family and relish those who are in your can always reconnect at any time too!

  12. Ive dealt with this issue alot lately.


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