To Love. To Grow. To Change. To Live.

Friday, March 08, 2013

Prioritizing...

I love blogging!!! It has truly become a huge part of my life. I find myself taking pictures of everything in hopes that I can use the images later as I chronicle the happenings of our life! I definitely don't use every image that I take but as I go through them to pick out the ones I'm going to use, I usually smile at some of them and think, I probably wouldn't have thought to capture and cherish this moment like this before I became a blogger. I like how blogging has changed me in that way.  But, at the same time, blogging definitely takes up a lot of my time (or at least it was taking up a lot of my time).  Lately, you've probably notice how slack I've become around these parts (or maybe you haven't, ha!)!

You see, I've decided that I can't post everyday. And guess what, that's okay!!!
But, why? It's because of...

My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ
First and foremost there is God.  My relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has been on the rocks since October 2011. Probably slightly before then, if we're being honest, but that time in my life certainly didn't help.  He and I both know the deal and it's high time that I seek Him first, let some things go, cast my cares on Him, pray without ceasing, remember what He's brought me out of, remember how He hasn't failed me yet, remember that He's my shepherd, my Jehovah Jireh...my everything!

Basically, meditate on and remember His word, then be obedient and determine how to apply it to my life, daily!

He hasn't been the absolutely center of my life, as He should be, for some time now and I believe that that is the main source of my troubles. I truly believe that once I become "a woman after God's on heart" again, then everything else in my life will fall into place.  So...I can't post everyday, and that's okay!

My Husband
My husband must be taken care of in every way that I can take care of him.  From making sure dinner is ready when he gets home, actually listening to the things he has to say, instead of having my face stuck in a computer or being so quick to get my response and my thoughts out. Watching a few games with him because I know how much he loves it.  Massaging his ego because every man needs it. Showing him how much he means to me and showing him how thankful I am for all he does (working and helping me where he can at home). Being mindful to show my respect for him at all times, even in the mist of having a conversation with him.

Some may view this approach as archaic, and that's fine, as we're all entitled to our opinions and can approach life however we see fit.  But since God has afforded me the opportunity to stay at home I believe that I need to make the best of it by truly being the help-mate he designed me to be! I usually blog at night but lately when my husband gets ready to get into bed he calls to me from upstairs to come to bed. As much as I may want to finish a post, I always submit to his request. I need to take this a step further by simply following him upstairs when he heads to bed, which may keep me from posting everyday, and that's okay!

My Child
Madison needs more of my attention.  I'm a stay at home mom so you'd think she'd get my undivided attention.  But, I end up letting so many things distract me from her, from laundry, to cleaning, to cooking, etc.  Yes, these things need to get done, but I need to create a schedule that allows me to get those things done without sacrificing so much of the time I should be spending with her.  I also let social media distract me throughout the day as well, whether I'm looking at it on my phone or through the computer, it can definitely take up a lot of my time.

I was reading Ashley's blog, Little Miss Momma, yesterday and she quoted this...

"After my daughter was born, I was trying so hard to have the life I had before.
I was trying to fit her into my schedule, instead of fitting my schedule to hers."

Oh, how guilty I am of this! But oh, how it must change! Especially now while she's small and craving every bit of my attention. It's imperative that I ensure that she is always my main focus throughout the day, no distractions, no excuses.  Year one with her came and went so quickly and the last thing I want is to miss out on this precious quality time that I can never get back.  Therefore, I need to utilize her nap times better and make sure that I'm making the most of the time I am planning to limit myself to at night which will mean that I can't post everyday and that's okay!

Me
It starts with sleep for me.  I need to get more of it.  I've been having a hard time getting to sleep for about a year and a half now so I had this great idea that I should just be productive during that time since I'm up anyway.  So, I'm up late blogging, reading blogs, commenting, engaging, etc., in addition to a few other things.  But what I really need to do is get to bed at a decent hour every night.  But not just that, I also need to condition my body to recognize that it's time to wind down and go to sleep. On those nights that my husband has been calling me to bed, I usually still end up staying up late as my mind is still racing long after he's fast asleep.  And since Maddie wakes up between 6am and 7am, I find myself incredibly tired each morning and I'm just not ready to get up.  The lack of sleep affects the entire day and it's a seemingly endless cycle. But, I must set a bed time and what doesn't get done by then will be there for me some time tomorrow or the next day or the next and that includes preparing a post everyday, and that's okay!

It has really hit me lately that I just can't do everything, but I must do the most important things!  Don't get me wrong, there are so many things that I'm doing right and I'm learning that I can't be so hard on myself.  So I commend myself for all that I am doing and the fact that I am trying.  But, I am truly evaluating myself, my needs and the needs of our little family unit, as we all should from time to time, to see where I am in life and determine where I want to be.  Ultimately, I want to be better and that's something that I always plan to strive to be!  I believe that starts with recognizing where I am and seeing what changes I need to make to reach my goals and, for me, prioritizing is where I need to start!!!

...that means, I can't post everyday, and I'm finally convinced that it's okay!!!

My apologies for such a lengthy, picture-less post, but I felt compelled to share these thoughts (perhaps, just to see them written out just for myself), and I pray that my transparency lately isn't a major turn-off!

Special thanks to Natasha and Mionna, as they both helped me come to these conclusions and unknowingly inspired me to write this post.  I love these ladies, dearly!

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13 comments

  1. Your heart is so real, sister! I love this post more than most just because of your honesty. I can truly say that I have been debating about this very same subject in my daily walk. Blogging is SO obsessive, yet awesome at the same time. But, my Jesus and husband were here before my blog and I am SO thankful for those roots. I totally support you and your blog through this decision :) You're awesome, friend! I am encouraged!

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    1. Thanks so much, Kalyn! Blogging is crazy obsessive, like you said, and I've just let it take up way too much of my time. As much as I love and enjoy blogging and engaging I know that I have to set some realistic boundaries for myself so that I don't let it become my life...as God and my family should fill that spot! I can't thank you enough for your love support Kalyn, it truly means so much :)!

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  2. I'm so glad you are accepting that it is okay to ease up on the blogging! It will do you a world of good to help your body learn to shut down and get some rest I'm sure of it. Praying that you find peace and balance!

    I've been taking a bit of a break myself lately so I understand you completely :) We MUST prioritize!

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    1. I agree, Krista! Since writing this post (with the exception of tonight, lol) I've been doing a great job of going to bed when my husband goes which means going to bed early and I have already seen a difference. I know I'm going to have some days (like I"m having tonight) when I just can't get to sleep, but it's a work-in-progress and I know I'll get there! Thanks for your prayers and kind words! Wishing the same (peace and balance) to you :)!!!

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  3. Amazing!! (As I'm teary) This is your "Ah hah" moment and I truly believe you are going to see a grande difference in your life!! Thanks for sharing this, as I know it will touch and help others as well.
    xoxo
    -Natasha @ Lovely You

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    1. It is indeed, Tasha! I have already seen a difference and the post inspired Mario as well, so it put us on the same page just like that! God is so amazing in that way.

      I also got back to using one day to write out my posts for the week so that all I need to do is tweak them the day before and that alone has made a huge difference.

      There is still so much that I want to do, but I know it'll all come in due time as long as I put first things first!

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  4. Again, this post spoke to my heart. While I was in the shower this morning, I was thinking the same thing. I didn't post today because I needed time for me. I, too need to spend more time with Jesus. Still in the shower, I came up with a potential schedule for some much needed quiet time with Him. I pray you find the peace you are looking for and rekindle the relationship with Him. I lost my way around the same time. I am glad we are both on the narrow path together.

    P.S. I sent you an email in response to your comment.

    Sophia

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    1. That's one thing I really need to buckle down and do, Sophia...create a schedule! I need to know where my time is truly going because (sort of like with money) I end up spending it all but not really knowing what I spent it on. I sort of have a schedule in my head, but that is obviously getting me no where so I need to do it the old fashioned way (pen to planner).

      I'll continue to pray for you as well, Sophia!

      P.S. Never got you're email...not sure what's going on there and I couldn't find an email address for you on your site (the email link doesn't work)!

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  5. Doesn't it help to get all this out?!?! Not for us, your readers...who are always here to encourage and offer kind words, but for you.

    Life is definitely not easy, no matter where we are in it, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be enjoying it! I know I need to be cognizant of my own encouragements to you, but you've help me realize something as well. We've got to give ourselves credit!! Our lives aren't easy, yet we get up every single day and get things done! There are a lot of people who would have given up if they'd gone through some of the things we've had to go through, but we have not!! We've gotta keep pushing. We're pushing a cart full of stuff uphill, but eventually we'll be able to jump on top of that cart and ride it downhill. HOWEVER we must remember that once we get over one hill...there will inevitably be another one to face, and that's ok...that's life. We need to teach ourselves how to deal with both sides of the hill while we're still young and learn to enjoy the now. :-)

    And I Love You Too!!!

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    1. Yes ma'am! I realized in the end that I wrote this post just for me! It really helped to put things in perspective for me and it was just an added bonus that it came across so well for my readers!

      You have really spoke a word with your analogy, my dear, and what you said about not giving up and continuing to push after all we've been through! Whooooo! I'm going to keep these words you've written here very close to my heart :). Just perfect!!!

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  6. Hey Nicole,

    Your beliefs in the way you interact with your husband are right on in my opinion. Our Heavenly Father gave men and women different talents so that we can work and grow together. It's that type of relationship that will last forever. We have a serious relationship epidemic in this country. Things have gone way wrong - and they need to change.

    I am glad you are prioritizing. Good for you!

    I wish you the absolute best.

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    1. Yes, Lisa, yes! This generation of mine believes that women should be independent and carry their own and not need anybody. Before I met my husband, I was this type of women and believed in it wholeheartedly. Then he showed me that I didn't have to do things alone and that he'd be there to help, to be the head and help carry my burdens. It was through his actions that I was finally able to see the roles God set for us (and why they were set this way)!

      You're right about the epidemic, and things will only change if we put God first when it comes to our marriage and put his word to use concerning it!

      Thanks for your well wishes!

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  7. Oh I can totally relate to this post! I don't have a little one but I did find that sometimes I would put blogging before my hubby and me time. I just decided this year that I would blog when I wanted to and not to put too much pressure on myself. You are doing a great job with your blog, just keep doing what you're doing and enjoy it! I wish you well with all the roles you are juggling. You are a strong woman of God, always remember "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

    Hugs
    Catriona

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