That's eight Oreos (Read: A whole lot of cookies)! Sad thing is, this is typical for me throughout the day if there are sweets in the house. I tell myself that I'll get just one and by the end of the day I've had several. Sometimes I don't even really want them but eat them because they are there. Sometimes I just want something sweet after a meal. But a lot of the time I eat because of my emotions!
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying that my life has been the best that it's ever been...ever! But I am human and I have struggles that I still deal with from time to time, such as worrying constantly (even when there isn't a reason to), depression (to be discussed in a future post) and loneliness (feeling like no one understands). I talk about my mother a lot throughout my blog and losing her changed a lot of things for me. So yes, I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter and I do my best to find joy everyday, but my emotions, and the happenings of life, in general, still get the best of me more often than I'd like to admit!
With that being said, if I'm sad, feeling depressed, stressed, menstruating, bored, heck, even if I'm happy, you'll find me eating my feelings away. I'm honestly surprised that I'm not overweight considering my lack of exercise and love of unhealthy / sweet food!
If I'm feeling down, I like to go to a restaurant (by myself usually) and get something yummy, followed by an extra sugary, calorie filled dessert! At home, I'm always baking sweets and there are almost always cookies available so my day is filled with scenarios like I mentioned above.
I didn't realize that I had a problem until recently as I have really been evaluating myself and my feelings and trying to be honest with myself about how I'm doing as a whole. Like I mentioned during my Monthly Measures post yesterday I've been reading It Starts with Food and last night as I was reading, while rocking Maddie to sleep, it really hit me how serious this issue is and I began to cry about it a little.
This passage really hit home for me...
"You struggle with food cravings, bad habits, compulsions, and addictions. You know you shouldn't, but you feel compelled to eat these foods. Sometimes, you don't even want them, but you eat them anyway. And you have a hard time stopping. All of which makes you feel guilty and stressed and more likely to comfort yourself with even more unhealthy food...Specific food cravings can turn into poor eating habits in just a few days, leaving us stuck in a cycle of relentless urges, short-term satisfaction, and long-term guilt, shame, anxiety, and weight gain. To effectively change our relationship with food (and maintain new, healthy habits forever), we need to understand what is behind our cravings, habits, and patterns. - It Starts with Food by Dallas & Melissa Hartwig
This truly resonated with me and if you are battling with food cravings as well, I suggest you give this book a try. It's a great read and I'm hoping to find and fully understand what is behind these cravings so that I can find a way to overcome this issue!
I'll keep you posted as I begin to make some bold, but necessary, changes and I ask for your prayers as I make this transition. I know this will be difficult and I know that I won't be able to do this without Him.